Pico Iyer on The Dalai Lama

Last week I had the distinct pleasure of hearing Pico Iyer interviewed by journalist Scott London about his recent book, On The Open Road: The Global Journey of the Fourteenth Dalai Lama. Pico Iyer is not only an eloquent writer, but also an eloquent interviewee. Since 1974, when Pico was seventeen years old, he was lucky to be in close communication with The Dalai Lama who was a personal friend of Pico’s father. Pico deftly called the Dalai Lama, “A global village on two legs.”  He said that no matter what The Dalai Lama was wearing and no matter where he was, the best way to describe him was as an individual with a huge amount of integrity. He stressed that being in close proximity with him was stimulating and the mental equivalent of being in the gym. “He is a doctor of the mind,” says Pico.
Pico discussed The Dalai Lama’s exile from his home, Tibet, and his life-long struggles with the situation. He briefly discussed the basic tenets of Buddhism and how all blessings come from doing good onto others. Although I am an amateur student of  Buddhism, I am fascinated by the power of this tenet. No  matter what religion you practice, this is true, in that all that you do for others comes back to you at least two-fold. This goes hand in hand with another Buddhist belief is how you die is a reflection on how you have lived your life. It has also been said that people age like they live. Look around you at any older person and you will notice that they have not changed since their younger years. If they were industrious and busy, they will continue to be so. If they sat around watching television, chances are they will continue to do that in their golden years.

Pico spoke about the Dalai Lama’s energy and how everyone wants to “bathe in his charisma,” and I noticed this during his visit to UCSB earlier this year (see blog below). Certainly his energy spreads wide. In summary, Scott London did a terrific job, allowing Pico to hold his own, but asking very salient questions…doing everything a journalist should do.

A good journaling prompt is to write about what good things you have done for others this past week.

Happy First Day of Fall — Fall Into Your Passion

There’s no time like the start of a new season to try something new—either for yourself or for your community. If you are a writer like me, you are probably compulsive about your craft. It takes a sort of obsession to be a writer—an obsession to start and finish an article, story or book. Perhaps, it takes this type of personality to bring any type of project to fruition.

After many years of being a writer, I also understand the importance of making the leap out of the office and away from the computer, journal or legal pad to wander into the real world in order to bring some awareness to an issue in the community or do something which unites your spirit with the community and/or the world.

For me personally, I have the need to inspire and teach others the power of writing, whether it’s for publication or to heal personal wounds. This has been an ongoing mission and passion of mine. Not all authors have the need to bring awareness to a particular subject. For example, in a recent Time Magazine interview with author Janet Evanovich (June 22, 2009), she was asked if she felt inclined to use her success to bring awareness to a certain issue. She said that she thought it was appropriate for some authors, but it didn’t seem appropriate for her. She explained by saying that she saw herself as an entertainer and that’s what she liked to do. I admire Janet’s honesty in knowing what is right for her. I also know that perhaps because of my past profession as a nurse, that I have an instinct to help and teach others. Today, I have decided to teach journaling to teenage girls at Girls Inc. in Carpinteria. They are excited about my visit and I’m excited about sharing my passion. It’s a win-win situation for us all and I hope the beginning of a series of similar events.

Think of what you might do that is different this Fall. Do you have a passion you would like to share with others? Is there a new hobby you want to bring into your life? Today is a good day to pull out your journal and jot down any ideas you may have and turn over a leaf of paper as the first colorful one change colors on your backyard tree.

In Memory of Rynn Williams

For me, this has been a month of loss. Early last week I had even more bad news. I received an email from my friend, Molly Fisk, informing me that our mutual colleague and friend, Rynn Williams, was found dead in her bathtub by her dog sitter. Although her death has since been determined accidental, an autopsy will be performed. Rynn was 47 and leaves behind three children under the age of 13.

I first met Rynn many years ago in Molly’s online Poetry Boot Camp. It was during her earlier years as a poet and all of us critiqued one another’s poetry online. Many of the poets were mediocre, but Rynn’s words always rose to the top. Each day, I looked forward to her latest installment. The boot camp would last five days and each of us were required to turn in our poems by 12 midnight each day. More often than not, Rynn’s poems arrived in the early morning hours, perhaps her most creative time, or the time when she finally got her little ones to bed. Her poems were rarely in what seemed to be a rough draft. They were sharp and poignant and always touched a nerve in me. I am happy that I had the chance to work with her and more than once what a fine poet I thought she was. One reviewer of her books said that Rynn’s poems are “like X-rays that scrutinize each moment.’

It was no surprise to me when years later I learned that Rynn won the Prairie Schooner Prize for Poetry for her first collection, Adonis George. I recall months later attending her reading in Grass Valley, CA with Molly Fisk. A mentor once told me that if a poet’s words stay with you long after their reading, then that’s the power of a good poet. Rynn had that power – so much of her work continues to resonate with me. I had been in touch with Rynn over the years – her emails, like her poetry, were terse, yet caring. Some time later, I was honored to join Rynn for a coffee in New York. For obvious reasons, that rendez-vous is now more poignant than ever now. The events of these past few weeks are a reminder to enjoy every day and moment spent with loved ones.

Here is one poem from Adonis George:

West Chelsea

I am going to leave the city tonight,

the handball courts and the Gemini Diner,

I am going to forget about east 33^rd street,

the penthouse, the Rawhide, the banks of elevators,

I want to forget the route of the C train,

the smell of the tracks when you jump down

to cross them, I want to fall asleep

and not dream of multitudes, I want to forget

that on West Fourth and Hudson my friend

held his forehead together with his hands,

I am going to abandon my FDNY cap

on top of a hydrant in alphabet city,

my Lucite stilettos on a shrine in the Bronx,

I want nothing but horizontal lines

so I don’t have to get on my knees in the intersection,

I am going to pick up my body and move it

to a town where the streets are perfectly logical,

I am going to drive east on the LIE

until the only rumble is in the pit of my stomach,

I am going to shred all my take-out menus,

I am going to eat dinner at six o’clock,

I am going to be a loser and love it –

get in my car and drive east to the ocean,

until I can’t stand the silence

and have to come home.

 

 

Life and Death Journaling

 This past week has taught me, that in learning how to die we learn how to live. The three prominent female figures in my life were struck by disasters. My 79 year old mother fell off her horse and sustained a severe subdural hematoma and has been in ICU, my mother-in-law, Jeannine is on a remote cardiac monitor and my favorite aunt Lilly and second mother, passed away. I don’t know who to write about first, as they are all such unique and dynamic women.

My mother has been riding since an early age and even though we tried to get her to stop she said she wanted to die on her horse. She always hung around with younger riders and has had a youthful spirit. I am happy she’s had this passion, but now as she slowly reclaims her memory and talking abilities after the accident, she finally agrees that she must give up riding and find a more age-appropriate hobby. We were told that her subdural hematoma was so large that if she was 20, she would probably be in a coma.

Aunt Lilly is my husband’s aunt, but I’ve known her for more than thirty-five years. She died in her sleep at the age of 88 after a tumultuous yet successful life. I suppose what I admired about her most was how in spite of all she had been through, she never wore her heartaches on her sleeve. She was a bright, vibrant and positive woman who was a successful clothing designer in Montreal where we lived during our early marital years. When Lilly’s daughter, Norma, phoned to ask if I would speak at her memorial I was honored to be included.

Here is my eulogy: Some people are immortal and Lilly Dee is one of those. I met Lilly more than 35 years ago when I married Simon. We immediately had a connection, but, more importantly, I so admired her vibrant spirit, positive attitude, sense of humor and snippets of wisdom. Lilly always seemed to say and do the right thing at the right time. Uncle Ernie called her the family diplomat as she always told us like it was with the right balance of honesty, grace, and compassion and like her brother Alex, with the sensibilities of a wise sage. I’d like to read a poem from my recent collection, Dear Anaïs: My Life in Poems for You. (Note: For those of who have my book, you will notice that I modified the last stanza for the occasion)

My Navigator

   Dedicated to Aunt Lilly

From the moment we met

I loved you, right there,

in your country house on a remote lake,

Hungarian cheese spread smeared on Swedish crackers,

chicken paprika draped over a mound of mashed potatoes,

that long French Canadian wood table,

delightful culinary aromas from your kitchen,

lively paintings and portraits enveloping your walls,

books piled on your bedside table.

Oh how I miss the warmth of your home,

nestled in your easy laugh and zest for life.

I knew I wanted to grow old like you,

proud shoulders pulled back,

despite years in concentration camp

and the loss of two adoring husbands.

I shall forever be impressed by your sense of humor,

how you called my husband the glue doctor

after he developed a prosthetic cement;

your fine attire as a clothing designer,

positive tint to life’s idiosyncrasies, and yearning

for learning and travel.

I sit here with the memory of your accented voice

and how you said you had to go to your room to

‘brush your tits,’ and how each time

we looked into one another’s eyes

we had a connection which transcended

any words I could blend on these lines.

You’ve helped me navigate through every

stage of this woman’s life and shown me

how to survive all that I’ve been through

and for this I thank you.

Lilly, your spirit remains forever alive.

Rest in peace.

Happy 106th Birthday Grandma !

Last week my grandmother, Regina would have celebrated her 106^th birthday! After studying her life while writing my recent memoir, Regina’s Closet: Finding My Grandmother’s Secret Journal, I realized that even though there were many aspects of our personalities which were similar—our lives and times cannot to be compared.

My grandmother lived through two world wars, and although there were already two wars in my own lifetime—The Vietnam War and The Gulf War—their physical proximity only were only as close to me as my television screen. What must life have been like in 1903 without radio and television? Imagine only knowing of the beginning war from the soldiers marching through the streets of your hometown or some distant newspaper finally making it to your doorstep? Surely, life was tougher when technology was not an integral part of society, but in many ways it was much less complicated—priorities were family and survival and the wondrance if the daily bread would appear on the kitchen table, or even be delivered to the corner grocer because of war-torn districts. Now we worry about whether the newspapers will survive the technological advancement and stressful economical times or if our environment will survive our waste.

In the end, we must always have our lives in the proper perspective.

Journaling About Authors and Food

“Sometimes people say I am unusual because I cook and write. I smile and nod and think aren’t these things that everyone should do? I cook and write for one reason; I like to make stuff.” These are the words of writer Greg Atkinson in the forward of an anthology called Literary Feast: The Famous Authors Cookbook. I truly believe in Greg’s words and feel honored to be included in this collection put together by The King County Library Foundation. However it wasn’t easy to decide which recipe to include in this collection. After being married for 32 years and raising three kids, I have my share of favorites. I started by pulling out my self-compiled handwritten cookbook and listing in my journal the family’s all-time favorites. The recipe I chose to submit has been carried with me from my childhood—Wiener Schnitzel. I was asked to write a few words before introducing the recipe and here’s what I wrote:

“I have an Austrian mother and had a Polish grandmother, so this crispy Schnitzel recipe, with home-fired potatoes, was a staple in our home. It was the dish we had once a week and was always served when visitors were invited for dinner. You can say that I was brought up on this meal. Also it was often accompanied by a sliced cucumber salad marinated in vinegar and water. Although I didn’t mention this recipe in my recently published memoir, Regina’s Closet: Finding My Grandmother’s Secret Journal, it was a huge part of my childhood. My children, now all grown, have also learned to love this favorite dish of their ancestors.”

This wonderful collection also includes recipes from 90 authors, including David Baldacci, Elizabeth Berg, J.A. Jance, Jonathan Kellerman, Alexander McCall Smith and John Saul. By the way, it makes a wonderful gift for all the writer friends in your life.

You may order a copy for $22.95 from: www.thriftbooks.com. Happy cooking! Until you get your own personal copy, here is my recipe:

Wiener Schnitzel

4 thin slices of veal scaloppini

bowl of flour bowl of bread crumbs

2 eggs oil salt and pepper

• Assemble three deep bowls. In one put the flour, in the second beat the two eggs and in the third pour the bread crumbs. Start with moderate amounts of flour and bread crumbs, you can always add more as needed. • Flatten the veal with a meat mallet. Season on both sides with salt and pepper. • Dip both sides of the veal in the flour. Shake off excess. • Dip the flour-coated veal into the egg, making sure veal is completely covered. Lift up and allow excess to drip off. • Lay the veal in the breadcrumbs and make sure it gets coated on both sides. • To help the breading adhere to the meat during cooking, you can place the cutlets on wax paper in the refrigerator for one hour. • Use a large frying pan and heat oil (can use half oil and half butter) until it gets hot enough that the cutlet sizzles when you put it in. It usually only needs about 2-3 minutes per side. Drain on paper towels. Serve immediately. This is also delicious served cold for the next day’s lunch.

The Notebook and Story Ideas

If you are a published writer you’ve surely been asked where you get your story ideas. What non-writers don’t understand is that coming up with story ideas is the easy part of being a writer. The more challenging part is finding the time to write. Crafting a compelling story using an angle that will grab an editor or publisher is also a challenge. Let’s face it, story ideas have been the same for centuries – love, hate, money, women, men and sex—but what has changed is the way in which stories are told.

It’s been noted that 95 percent of the ideas writers jot down in their notebooks do not end up into publishable work and only a mere five percent are what we call literary gems. Figuring out the ideal time out  to launch your idea to the literary community is also crucial. Often times if you think about what is interesting to you, your friends or loved ones, then chances are those are the subjects which will be interesting to your readers as well.

This reminds me of a comment made by an editor I visited at a New York publishing house some weeks ago. I asked her what was selling, and she turned to me while looking for a book on the shelf and said, “We have a saying in the publishing world that anything about Lincoln and everything about dogs, sells.”

So there you have it – just in case you were wondering what to write about!

Journaling About “Evil Genes”

This is not a topic I would normally write about, but last week I went to a talk given by Dr. Barbara Oakley and it was based on her recent book called, Evil Genes. Ms. Oakley is an engineer who was compelled by the bizarre things her family members did, like her sister who stole her mother’s boyfriend when she found out the man was going to take her mother to Paris, a place she always wanted to go!

At the same time, Oakley began questioning why we hear about some of the crazy things that those in high power positions do, such as Hitler, Mao, Milosevic and Stalin. For example, when Milosevic was asked why he killed all those people in the Balkan Islands he said that people die in war, but when he was asked why were their eyes cut out, he said, “What? I can’t hear you, the speaker is not working.” For him there was no explanation, no right, no wrong. He just did what he did without remorse, a classical sign of a psychopathic personality. She brought the scenario closer to home by asking us, “Did you ever wonder why somebody did something they did?” There were nods throughout the room. Surely, we all know someone who repeatedly does bizarre things and Dr. Oakley’s mission, through research, has been to understand why.

She mentioned the two disorders (psychopathy and borderline personality disorder). You can Google these to get all the detailed descriptions and symptoms. The fun part will after reading the descriptions to write about the disorder and to study which people you know who fit the bill. Surely there will be someone in your memory bank who brings you their craziness to mind. And by the way, Oakley’s book is fabulous and I understand she’s in the midst of writing some others. Definitely someone to check out, particularly if you are a writer, since we are always fascinated by people’s actions and motivations!                                                 

 

 

Journaling During the Santa Barbara Fires

It has been said that writers tend to write more during times of difficulty. Well, I bring you this blog entry from my home town Santa Barbara, which has just been through four major fires in less than two years—Zaca Fire, Gap Fire, Tea Fire and now the recent Jesusita fire. My husband, dog and I have had to evacuate for the last two fires, but I must tell you that The Jesusita fire was the most frightening because of the strong sundowner winds, every firefighters nightmare. Luckily, we happened to be out-of-town for most of the fire, but friends here emailed and called to say that it might have been some of the scariest days of their lives—Apocalyptic in nature—a multitude of helicopters caressing the air space, high winds and power failures sprawling from one end of the city to the next.

My email updates to friends around the country questioned whether this was the price we had to pay for living in a paradise like Santa Barbara, which some call the French Riviera.  Our beautiful surrounding mountains are now covered with ash. I have frequently hiked the Jesuisita Trail (the fire’s namesake) to a scenic peak called Inspiration Point which offers  the most magnificent panoramic view of the city. It’s the place I love to take photographers and out-of-towners to point out the magnificent town framed by majestic mountains meeting the expanse of the Pacific Ocean. These trails are often visited by runners, bikers and hikers. In fact, there is speculation now that the grass was so high in certain areas that you could not even see your feet as you ran and that one of the visitors might have used a power tool to clear the brush and this might have precipitated the fire—an act that might have been well-meaning, but it was not well-thought out and definitely, ‘back-fired.’ (excuse the pun).

Aside from Santa Barbara’s natural beauty, the inhabitants of our town appreciate the quality of life which cannot be had any other place in the country. Many of the people now living in Santa Barbara visited years ago, fell in love and relocated. Others were lucky enough to have been born here. We are a fine eclectic collection of writers, artists, students, professors, engineers, entrepreneurs and developers. We’re a friendly bunch living in a crisp, clean, sunshine-filled paradise where rain is either thought of as either as a treat or hindrance, but, these past few days, most of us agree that we will put up with our umbrellas to save our town’s beauty!

Striding For Inspiration

I recently read Joan Anderson’s biography, A Walk on the Beach, a gem of a book and also a wonderful gift item for that middle-aged woman who has everything, but seeks deeper meaning in her life through growth and exploration. The book’s sentiments are akin to those offered by Mitch Albom’s Tuesdays with Morrie.

Anderson decides to spend a year alone in Cape Cod where she befriends Joan Erikson, the late widow of the psychologist, Erik Erikson. Joan Erikson bestows her years of wisdom on Anderson and the book unravels alongside their extraordinary developing friendship. Anderson quickly learns the power in having a mentor. After living all those years with her therapist husband, it would seem logical that she’d have a good grip on how to cope with life’s ups and downs. While reading this book, I made sure my notebook was alongside. Each page had potent insights to spark my own thoughts and serve as kernels for future essays and stories. The last section of the book compiled these nuggets of inspiration into a reusable list.

I love reading books which offer insights to inspire my own writing. I also enjoy books which open my eyes to new activities, such as walking which cleans the cobwebs out of my mind and also unlocks writer’s block. By the time I reached the end of the book, I decided to make walking a part of my daily routine. Since moving to Santa Barbara nearly four years ago, I’ve noticed that many people favor walking as a hobby. For me, it’s a time to meet new people, but it’s also a time to nurture reflection and creativity. Santa Barbara offers a unique blend of calm and an unexplainable creative force. I often wondered if this is a result of its unique location, where the ocean meets the mountains.

Patricia Fry wrote an article called “Meditation Walking for Writers,” which I read with great interest. She suggested a walking meditation technique to help if you’re stuck in your writing. She says that there is no altered state of consciousness needed to embark on this type of meditation, and that it’s just a matter of quieting your mind and finding the stillness from within. She does admit that you have to want to do it and then you will see results.

The technique is simple. The first step is to establish a schedule, anywhere between forty-five and sixty minutes each day. Dressing comfortably and finding a quiet place to walk, is critical. Santa Barbara, thankfully, has a glutton of perfect walking locations. Fry suggests that while walking you focus solely only your senses—hear the sound of your shoes hitting the pavement, a sprinkler turning on, or the birds chirping. Then she suggests feeling the air against your skin and how the muscles in your legs tighten with each step. Pay attention to the aromas, whether it’s the blooming flowers, budding trees or grass being cut. In other words, put yourself in the moment.

Beth Baruch Joselow in her book, “Writing Without the Muse,” also suggests in her chapter “Go Outside,” to explore the outdoors and discover something unfamiliar—something growing in your garden, something living under a rock, something discarded in the alley. She suggests bringing that something back to your desk to examine all its facets. She recommends writing a description of it using all your senses. She takes the exercise one step further and suggests describing the item using someone else’s voice, someone you know.

Once you try these mind-clearing techniques, you can start allowing creative ideas to filter in. Fry claims that meditation walks provide an ideal arena for problem-solving. When she feels overwhelmed, she walks change her approach to life, whether it results in slowing down or figuring out what to do next. She suggests replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. If you think positively, then chances are it will soon become a reality. Meditation walking is a way to relax and increase your awareness while getting some of that fresh air and exercise we all need and who knows, the side effect might be a fabulous poem or story!